Tonight, when sweet Ava came home, she was really acting out. She was Extra loud and Extra irritable and just seemed as though something was bothering her. She told me three different times that her brain wasn't working right that day. I was busy and we had lots to do to get ready for the valentines thingy the next day. Finally, after dinner, her and I headed out to the house for some last minute things we needed to pick up at the store. She was quiet and finally I asked her what was bothering her. She immediately got that all too familiar high pitched about to cry but trying to talk voice, as she informed me that she lost a stick and five minutes of her recess that day. Little bits and pieces kept coming out through the evening and our talk.
Finally, the pieces came together as follows: she was on the class rug and two boys were poking her. Just as the teacher was saying the next person to talk would lose a stick and 5 minutes of recess, she told them to stop. She got caught and called down in front of the class. To make matters worse, earlier in the day she joined in with another friend and went into the BOYS bathroom. A class mate told on her so she lost another stick. The day before, she lost a stick for something else too. So I guess the teacher then called her over to her desk and asked her if something was wrong. Her teacher said that Ava was not usually like this, so she was wondering what was wrong.
To back this story up, Ava is very sad about the upcoming goodbye for Johnny. He is supposed to leave us Friday and she has been so sad for the past week, just thinking of it. She cries a lot already, because she knows how it goes and what happened with our last little guy, so she is preparing herself. :( I think this is def. playing a big role in this acting out, but she is still really upset about getting into trouble.
Tonight, as we were having devotions, I looked over to see her eyes very sad. I stopped what I was doing and she asked if she could stay home from school tomorrow. I told her that no, she had to go. She started crying and basically, long story short, she is very anxious about five minutes off her recess tomorrow. It has been bugging her all night. She kept trying to reassure herself it wouldn't be too bad, just has to get through the first five minutes. Supposedly they have to walk a line for the five minutes and everyone can see them, so embarrassing for someone that tries SOOO hard to not get into trouble. She kept telling herself that at least some of her friends were in trouble too, so she would at least be safe. Poor sweetie. We did discuss if it would be less embarrassing if the weather made it an inside recess because less people would be watching her and notice her missing her five minutes. She said yes, so we prayed for snow and inside recess, then I held her for awhile and just comforted and hugged her and prayed quietly over her.
I want to call and make this right. I want to fix it for her because I know her anxiety is over the top tonight and tomorrow too. It breaks my heart as I am sitting here typing this, knowing what it is taking for her to get up and go to school tomorrow and face her consequences. However, I know I MUST allow / encourage her to face them. She has to learn to face life even when it is tough. Why is this so hard for me? I seriously am emotionally tied in with this event. I pray God's peace and love over her tonight and tomorrow and I know she will be okay. I also, just now, said a prayer for snow. :)
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